Monday, 14 February 2011

Guest Post: How do we keep the romance alive?

Diane from The Writing Hall contacted me to ask if she could feature on a Guest Post I was more than happy to oblige! Here is a special post for Valentines Day - hope you enjoy it let me know in the comments if you would like to see more guest posts in the furture - I like to mix things up a bit sometimes!


Remember those first few flushes of love and lust when you first meet your partner? When you feel like you’ll die before you see him/her next, and they’re all you can think about?

Women go all out to appear sexy and mysterious. “Of course, I wear basques and negligees all the time…” you’d have your other half believe. Fast forward a few years and romance changes somewhat. Their fellas think they’re getting a sex kitten but when the ‘honeymoon period’ is long gone, they find they’ve ended up with a grouchy moggy. Sat around in our baggy, bobbly pyjama bottoms and with our bra-free boobs underneath a stained T-shirt - hovering over the dinner on our lap like they’re dowsing for water - we may not offer quite the same appeal.

We don’t hide those moments we’re cutting our toenails/plucking our eyebrows/shaving our legs, yet we hope to keep the magic alive in our relationships. As for being ‘comfortable’ around each other – if that means he’s got to witness our toilet habits and the times when we bleach our top lips, well, perhaps retaining that slight distance is a good idea.

You’re a strong, confident woman – when he met you, perhaps. Following those times he’s put you to bed because you’ve been too inebriated to do it yourself, or when he’s stared at you, mouth agape, because you’ve dissolved into tears whilst watching Ghost, you could forgive him for wondering where Miss Always In Control disappeared to.

Life gets in the way; there’s nothing sexy about paying your bills, shopping for groceries or cleaning the bath, so, once these tasks are out of the way, it can be hard to turn the ‘tiger in the bedroom’ switch on.

Contrary to belief, romance doesn’t run for the hills – it changes. Romance, after you’ve been together a few years, means walking in from work to your tea on the table, a foot rub after a hard day shopping, or your other half agreeing to watch that new chick-flick with you at the local cinema.

One of the most romantic things my husband has ever proffered was to paint my toenails. At the time I was too heavily pregnant with our first child to even see my feet. It was such a small gesture that he probably won’t even remember it but it always makes me feel warm and gooey whenever it pops in my mind.

Of course, we’re not the only ones who drop the mystery with time. Men fail to be so alluring when they’ve missed the toilet pot, when their mucky underpants surface after three months under the bed. My husband snores like a low-flying aircraft and his belly-button manages to yield the planet’s supply of fluff, but I only have to think back to when he painted my toenails so lovingly and his unromantic habits pale into significance.

Romance doesn’t die – it just adapts. Valentine’s Day may only be the only overtly romantic interlude amongst 364 days of drudgery and routine, but for most of us, that’s all we need. True romance ticks away behind the scenes, keeping our relationships alive – every single day.

Happy Valentine’s everyone!
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